theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize