She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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