grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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