the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
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I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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