id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
