So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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