i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
