We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
