found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
