I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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