i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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