I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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