If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize