Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
