had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize