Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
