Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
