i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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