the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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