I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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