it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
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