You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
someone owes me an orgasm
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
