Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
