Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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