It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
