you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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