What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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