How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
