Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Lo siento on account of my penis...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
