so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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