he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
