i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you are never too drunk for berry picking
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
