i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
