Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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