paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
