so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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