yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize