they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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