just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
