I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
