Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize