I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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