why didn't you poke me back
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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