Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize