Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
