its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
