Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
