Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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