Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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