Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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