There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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