This is not my ceiling
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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