Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
