We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
