I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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