her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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