I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
