I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We are two peas in an std pod
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Couch. On fire.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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