After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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