I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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