Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
