Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
