you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
