Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
