Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
