got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
