i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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