Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
